"25 Random Things" and "Where I Should Be Living"

Back when I was in college, chatting via IRC was a mind-blowing technology. You mean I can type in real-time with any friend with a computer and a 14.4k modem???!! Netscape Navigator???!! Rocket science, man. And here we are in 2009, and my, my, my, how. things. have. changed. I am beginning to sound like an old man.... ("But you ARE, Daniel!") We are living in a time when I can find out with just a couple of clicks what all 345 of my "friends" on Facebook are up to without even reaching out to them. Is that a good thing? Well, for a traveller like me, I would have to say the pros far outweigh the cons. Meeting up with old classmates I haven't seen in over a decade, keeping in touch with new friends and fellow travellers, etc, has been much easier with social networking sites like Facebook. However, it has made us all a bit lazier with maintaining and cultivating our friendships, with Chinese-water-torture-like viral requests like "25 Random Things" and now, "Where I Should Be Living."

So, in the spirit of things, I thought I'd finally resign myself to writing "25 Random Things," not about me, but about the 25 countries I have been to so far, as well as address the Facebook question du jour, "Where I Should Be Living."

Hong Kong - "Wai" and "Diu!" are probably the first two words that come out of a baby's mouth. (If you don't understand Cantonese, ask somebody you know who does and I guarantee you'll either make a new friend and/or get punched in the face.)

Spain - San Sebastian, home to the only bar I've been to (and that's saying quite a bit, by the way) where I asked for a bottle of water and got a beer in return from a fairly disgusted bartender.

Scotland - The only place where I saw a drunken old lady stumble out of a bar in the middle of the day, most likely kicked out because she, ahem, pissed her pants.

Ireland - There is a Budweiser tap, right next to a Guinness tap INSIDE St. James' Gate Brewery (Guinness HQ). Damn you, Americans.

England - The announcement on the London Underground (Tube) that the Picadilly Line terminates at Cockfosters is always funny. And, despite flying into London 8 times, and hanging with ten million Brits on this trip, I still can't say "bollocks" properly, and probably never will.

Poland - "Lew" means "lion" in Polish... I am Daniel, hear me roaaaaaaaarrrrrrr!

Latvia - One day, when Women Running Down Cobblestoned Streets with 3-inch Heels becomes an Olympic sport, Latvia will surely take gold. Estonia, silver.

Estonia - Home to the best way to say "cheers." They say, "DirVy sex" to which I always mispronounced on purpose, "DirTy sex," much to the chagrin of the locals, but to my neverending amusement.

Finland - Speaking of sports, if Wife Carrying ever becomes an Olympic sport, Finland would clean house. (Estonia, again, would take second.) Is it a coincidence that it was invented in a country with the highest rates of alcohol consumption?

Sweden - If you ever decide to go to Sweden, rent a Volvo, drive yourself to Ikea to eat some Swedish meatballs, and call (or better yet, wake) up your buddies back home in the US with an Ericcson to tell them (in your worst Swedish accent) it really is worth doing, just for laughs.

Norway - A 12-ounce bottle of Coke at a 7-11 costs about $5, chump change!

Denmark - The free-town of Christiania (in Copenhagen) is an added bonus to an already great city.

Holland - The only time I ever had to say to another woman, "If you keep following me, I'm going to kill you!!" (She was trying to scam me and my buddies about $80 for a taxi ride that really should have only costed $5, and literally chased us down for a good two blocks into a parking structure.) Oh yeah, she smelled like onions, too.

Germany - Bumper cars + steins and steins of beers with my best friends + Bavarian women dressed in dirndles = an Oktoberfest I will never forget. Munich 2009, anyone???!!

Greece - The Greeks say that if your earlobes are not attached, you're a true Greek. If they are attached, then that makes you of Turkish descent. So, I guess that makes me Turkish!

France - The French love Barack Obama more than most Americans.

Turkey - Sleeping past sunrise without earplugs is practically impossible anywhere (unless you're Muslim and you happen to be up already for the Islamic call to prayer)

Bulgaria - Nodding up and down means no, shaking your head side to side means yes! (I know, I mentioned that already in a previous post, but I still can't get over it!)

Egypt - Do you like playing Frogger? Play, or rather, cross any busy street in Cairo for the real-life version! Just as fun!!!

Ghana - You thought "Last King of Scotland" was a good movie? Wait till you see "First Chinese-American Chief of Karaga!"

Argentina - Asking for pepper in a restaurant is like asking for ice in Ghana.

Uruguay - If there were direct flights from Los Angeles to Uruguay, I'd buy a 500K beachfront condo there and live like a Miami Vice drug lord-- without the drugs and the flourescent green tshirts, of course.

Chile - Happy hours START at 10pm and END at around midnight!!!

Brasil - Everybody here thinks I look like Jackie Chan. I call bullshit.



As far as "Where I Should Be Living," I think the answer is pretty obvious after visiting 25 countries... It is not so much a matter of where I should be living, but rather, that I AM living.