Back to the good ole U S of A....(for just a few hours)

I arrived into Miami for a six-layover enroute to Costa Rica from Ecuador, and it was really exciting to step foot on American soil again. I felt strange trying to answer the question on the US Customs Declaration, "Countries Visited Prior to US Arrival" so I put down, "Ecuador and 25+ other countries." The US Immigration Official asked me what the hell was I doing in Ecuador, and I told him, "I stayed on the beach for six bucks a day!" He immediately shouted over to his colleague, "Hey Ed, we gotta go to Ecuador, man!" I sure hope so... Part of the reason why I share so many stories with you all through this blog is not just to tell you guys what I am doing, but also to encourage you to really seek out your own travel adventures instead of wasting your money on other things.

Being stuck at Miami International Airport {2008 TSA Airport of the Year, whatever that means!} for such a long time meant I had some time to kill. It was nice to see a Starbucks between every other check-in counter again, {not} as well as all the familiar shops and sights one would not have seen in over 11 months of being away. It was a tough choice trying to figure out what I wanted to eat, Taco Bell or Chili's? Unfortunately, there were no Mexican Pizzas at Taco Bell, and besides, I really wanted my baby back, baby back, baby back {Chillliiiiiiiiiiiis} baby back ribs!

I mosied on over to the bookstore, and when I went to the cashier {and despite not having said a single word to him prior to} the guy told me, "Dieciseis y cinco centavos por favor...." {$16.05, please} After having travelled through South America for the past four months, I thought to myself, have I gone native as well? I AM still Chinese, right?????!!!

I also had some time to think about what I do miss about the US....

1} Being able to flush toilet paper down the toilet. For those of you who have never experienced trying to stuff your crappy toilet paper down a crappy toilet paper filled bucket next to the toilet with your right hand while squatting and trying to keep your shorts from falling onto the piss-covered floor with your left hand, the simple joy of being able to simply crap, wipe and drop without worrying about blocking up the plumbing and causing a fecal flood was an absolute joy. So much so, in fact, that I decided to take a dump three times just for the sake of it. I told you, I had six hours to kill! Ok fine, the food from the night before didn't hurt, either.

2} Having the server at Chilis {I want my baby back baby back..... alright, enough already} ask me if everything was alright after my first bite. Ah, yes, I almost forgot, people actually WORK for tips in the US, as opposed to the rest of the world, where they either do not work for tips, or simply just add 10% to the bill and do absolutely nothing to earn it.

3} Free and safe tap water at restaurants. Asking for tap water in South America is like asking for diarhea. No, wait, it IS asking for diarhea.

I also had some time to think about what I do not miss about the US...

1} How everybody waiting for their flights at the airport is working. Working on their laptops, typing an email, writing a presentation or yapping on their cell phones about this that and the other. In most South American bus stations, mostly, you just see women breastfeeding their babies and guys taking a nap. Yeah, that's pretty much it.

2} Spoiled rotten kids who absolutely own their parents. I was watching a little boy, not more than 5 years old, boss his mom around like no other, for something to eat and drink. The mom obliged, of course. Just the other day when I was in Ecuador at a restaurant I was eating in, the mother {chef} smacked her son {not more than 7 years old} upside the head for slackin off and not taking the bowl of soup to one of the customers. I wonder, who will work harder later in life? And yet some of us have the nerve to complain {quite publicly} that American jobs are being taken away by immigrants. Sorry, Mom, your little sweet unemployed Johnny just got outhustled by Paco.

3} The crappy American Airlines airport lounge. Ok, I know this is all going to sound really lame but really, just ONE drink ticket???? And nothing to eat but some fruits and nuts???? I GOT SIX HOURS HERE!!!!!